is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
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Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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