nut hugger
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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