Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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