I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
