does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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