Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
