Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
