I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
smell my finger.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think your dad took our porno
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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