I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
