getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
