how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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