It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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