Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
