So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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