is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
