Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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