so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
