Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
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I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
So much Jack, so little girl.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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