I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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