She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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