haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize