Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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