hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We're too hungover to prance.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
