Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
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