Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
