i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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