Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
No subtext here. People are naked.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
