fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
