it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
