Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
