I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
