We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
