Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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