I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
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i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
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Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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