No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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