Small penises have feelings too.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
