woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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