We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
