Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
