This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
how does that bad decision feel?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize