She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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