i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
