dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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