in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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