Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
