Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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