I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize