What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
