I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
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I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
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he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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