i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
