so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
