whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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