That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
