Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
