Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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