I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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